I Was Bullied

My story begins in elementary school, First grade. Making friends wasn’t easy for me, I was alone most of the time, and the students simply didn’t like me, because I was overweight. They’d laugh, and make jokes such as “all you do is eat.” It never really got to me like it did in middle school. My hair was frizzy, and I had gained weight. I’d get made fun of every single day, from the day I walked in in the morning, from the very moment I stepped into my mothers car sobbing.
The bullying I had to endure was something I don’t wish upon anyone.
Every morning I’d beg my mom to PLEASE let me stay home from school, because I was going to be tortured again. She obviously had to make the choice of making me go, which I never held against her. So I went. I had no friends, and, before I continue, when I say “I had no friends” I don’t mean “I had some friends but I just didn’t include them.” It means, I had NO friends. I stood alone behind the school waiting for the first period bell to ring to start the day. 10 minutes after my mom dropped me off, though, things would get bad. Students would surround me, 7 to 12 as an estimate, calling me fat, gross, ugly, and boys would spit in my hair, claiming it made it look shiny. Girls would come up to me and ask me why I hadn’t killed myself yet, because no one cared about me. They’d throw hard, pods that fell from trees at my face and body, making everyone but me laugh. In tears, I’d call my mother who had JUST dropped me off no more than 10 minutes prior, begging her to pick me up, before the first bell even rang for first period. If she said no, I’d cry the entire morning as they would continue to make fun of me. I’d lay my head down on my desk and just cry, hoping the teacher would notice and give me some seriously needed help, but he never did. He sat there and watched as boys threw spit balls at me, in my hair, in my face. He sat there while these boys, and some girls, harassed me the entire period. In every one of the seven classes I took every day, 4-9 people tortured me in EACH CLASS. At lunch, I’d buy food with the money my mother paid for, and the boys in front of me would TAKE IT off of my tray, telling me I don’t need any food. That I had enough. Students made a song about me, about how overweight I was, and they’d sing, laugh, and point in class as loud as they could, and the teacher would sit there and laugh with them, and do absolutely nothing. I would leave school every day of my life sobbing, hating myself. Wanting to end it all. My parents fought constantly because of me, my father screaming ! at me, telling me I needed to get over it. I was lost. The councilor told me to give her all the names of my bullies, and they would never know who told. I felt like something was finally going to be done. Once I gave the gigantic list of names to her, she said she’d be calling them into her office one by one. The next day, people looked at me hatefully, holding bullying packets. BULLYING PACKETS?! They harassed me every single day of my life and all they were given was bullying packets that had to be signed by their parents, and to make matters worse, when I sat at my desk in 7th period (which was packed full of my bullies, give or take one) they were talking about how this dumb bitch told on them, and the substitute teacher laughed and said “Who is dumb enough to tell on you guys” and they ALL pointed DIRECTLY AT ME and said at the same time, “HER!”
The teachers let me down, the councilors let me down, I had no one. The substitute teacher had to keep me after school let out because she was terrified that I was going to get jumped. My mom had to park closer to school every day because she was also afraid.

Eventually, I simply stopped going, because no one would help me, no one cared. They simply let me drown. I dropped out of school because my harassment and torture was too much to handle. It was either drop out or commit suicide. I lived because I dropped out, which is extremely sad. Everyone always says to ask teachers for help, ask principals for help, well, I did. And they didn’t help me. They sat and watched the entire thing happen in front of them. One teacher, when I begged him to move students that were harassing me, told me to grow up. The vice principal promised me my bullies would never know who told on them, but they knew, and I had to pay for it.
I’ve suffered long term depression and anxiety, and my life is in ruin even today, simply because NO ONE would stand up and HELP me. And apparently Florida has a NO BULLYING law. Are you kidding me?

PLEASE!!! If you see someone getting bullied, stand up, HELP THEM, be a friend to them. You have NO IDEA how bad bullying can really get. If you don’t… they might end up like me. An 18 year old drop out, who is afraid of her own shadow and who sits at home every day crying her eyes out wishing someone did something.



3 Responses to “I Was Bullied”

  1. JB | September 23, 2014 at 10:44 am #

    Screw this! I’m tired of seeing sad stories like this. I got spitballs thrown at my face in High School too. I wish I stood up for myself. I know not everyone is ‘soldier’ but I wish I did. Now I’m 32 and have come A LOOOONG Way. I feel sorry and can totally relate to the person who is going through massive social anxiety. I just got lucky and got into Pick Up (PUA) and it really changed my life. Regardless, there are moments where I wish I stood up for myself. If you see your bully now, kick their fucking ass! If you are 18 right now, KICK THEIR FUCKING ASS!!! Life is not going to be over. The worst is you might get in trouble in school or you will get kicked out. BIG DEAL!!! Go to another school. You are a good person. On another note, there are a lot of great ppl out there. The only practical advice I can give here is go to another city or something. Environment matters. However, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!! DO IT!!! Or just move to another school or city. You deserve a proper social life. Like I said I’m 32 and If I catch these FUCKS again I will confront them. I even Facebook Messaged one guy but he’s a coward so he didn’t reply. Ppl say that you should forgive them and move on but it’s hard. Just keep moving forward. Or stand up now and feel like a boss!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuPkKoWhkwo (This guy shares a great story). Become a success in life. Go for it! And remember, you aint the only one going through bullshit. I recently stood up for myself in a public bus and it FELT SO GOOD!!! It helped override the past a little bit. BE BRAVE! Almost all famous ppl got bullied too (Chris Rock, Lady Gaga, etc). Get successful and GET HAPPY :)

  2. Effy | March 3, 2014 at 2:10 am #

    I dropped out Junior year of high school. I’m 27 now, and have major social anxiety. I have more online friends than in person friends, it’s what I feel the most comfortable with. I’m afraid of people really. Afraid of what they will think of me, afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid of rejection, etc. People don’t really understand the long term effects. I’m so sorry you had to drop out and that no one offered the support and help that you needed. Do get your GED and go to college, it’s what I did. I went on campus for a couple of years and then switched over to online school through Liberty University. Education is important and I know you can do it!

    Lots of love! <3

  3. Nina | February 22, 2014 at 9:09 pm #

    Dear angel,
    you are not alone, God knows all and sees all. I know they have hurt you so badly and deeply, but I can see what a smart and kindhearted human being you are. Please do not let go of life, fight every day through your knowledge, through your wisdom which is apparent that you have. Never give up, please. I hope the bullies get what they deserve one day, and I sincerely hope karma grabs them one of these days.
    You are a survivor and a good, kind hearted spirit. I know what effects all this had on your life, nevertheless do not give up please for your parents. I know that you probably lost faith in humanity, but there are people out there who will love you and care for you for the good person that you are.
    I cannot tell you to forget the bullies, I myself can’t forget mine, but it definitely gets easier. If you are in possibility, it would be good to be homeschooled or at least find another school that you will be happy in. There are plenty of good schools out there. I pray that you find peace and that it will be easier for you.
    Don’t give up, fight with your knowledge and with your spirit!
    Nina from Sarajevo

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