Mirror

Hello. I’m here to tell you my story. Then again, who isn’t? It started in 5th grade, when I was made fun of for the mole on my face. He called me ‘tickface’. I’m still afraid of ticks. There was one girl who sat with me during lunch and comforted me while I cried. It was all fine for a while, but at the beginning of seventh grade, it all started to go downhill. Two girls would steal and hide my binder every day. Guess who one of them was? The girl who comforted me that day in 5th grade. She sat behind me and pulled my hair out, she looked through my binder and stole things, she punched and choked me, in the middle of class! Teachers didn’t do anything about it. Once, my binder ended up in the auditorium and i had to leave my class to go get it, and a study hall was in there. I knew they did it to humiliate me in front of that study hall. At lunch, she would take about half of my lunch everyday, but she constantly called me too skinny. Once, when I refused to let her take it, she called me greedy and a pig, even though she was the one who took not only my food, but others as well. I was forced to stay around her, because the only people I was friends with hung around her. I was never the best in school, so she made fun of me for that as well. In eighth grade, all this continued, all but the binder stealing. The other girl realized what she was doing and stopped. With the other, she continued. She constantly bothered me about me not having a facebook. I still don’t, I’m terrified. I never had to deal with cyberbullying, and I didn’t want to be. In eight grade, she would shut me out of rooms and look thorough my binder, and when I got defensive, she would give me crap about it. She would corner me and kick my legs. Once, when I tried ignoring her, she took my shoe, and threw it at me. It hit me in the face. I had gotten into a routine of get home, be upset, eat dinner, and go to bed, so I ! had a lot of missing work. One day, when I didn’t get it done, and It was a very rough day at school with her, I sat and cried in my room before my dad got home. I had hit rock bottom. I attempted suicide that night. I took my old chain belt and wrapped it around my neck and pulled as hard as I could. I wouldn’t be here today had it not been for the mirror leaning against my wall. I saw myself in it, red faced, crying, and desperate, and I thought; ‘This is not who I am. I am stronger than this”, so I let go, I laid on my floor gasping and coughing for a minute, then I got up and walked outside of my room. My dad was home. I had bruises on my throat, and my voice was raspy. No one seemed to notice. When eighth grade ended, I was relieved. Summer went by too fast. Just like before eighth grade, I had panic attacks during the night before school started. In high school, It stopped. I had no classes with her with any sort of free time. I was astonished on the first day, because I didn’t have the same lunch shift as her. All of the lunch on my tray was going to be mine. The last thing that happened was a few months ago. She had invited me to her birthday party, and she shut me in a room, turned all the lights off and waited. She swung open the door as hard as she could, slamming it into the wall. She scared me like that multiple times that night. My throat hurt from screaming. Nothing else has happened. Yet. I am supposed to be tested for an anxiety disorder next month. I am sure that if one is there, its because of her. But I know now that I will get through this, no matter what. She had dropped me so low that I had wanted to kill myself. I will never let myself go that far again.

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One Response to “Mirror”

  1. ejfsn | February 3, 2014 at 10:03 pm #

    Please Stay Strong !

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