What Others Don’t Know

I was born into what other’s considered to be a poor family. My mom became a single mother when I was 8 years old. She had divorced her second husband. Unlike all the other kids my age I was getting up around 5 am to do chores. I would feed the dogs clean the house and help get my sister ready for school. Other kids my age treated the same until middle school, that’s when the bullying began. I was bigger than the other children and shorter to. I tried not letting it bother me but there is only so much I could handle. I started pretending to be sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school and as a result of missing so many days my grades started to slip. I almost didn’t graduate 8th grade. I was hoping that in high school things would change but they only got worse. Instead of 20 or so kids bullying me, it was more like 700 kids that had the chance to put me down. I could never figure out why they were so mean to me when all I ever did was keep to myself and be nice. No matter how mean they where to me I kept being nice to everyone. My sister who is 4 years younger than me was diagnosed with a mood disorder and she was being bullied. My mom put all of her focus into helping my sister and I fell through the cracks. She stopped caring that I was missing so many days of school because she hardly noticed. My sister before even becoming the age of 17 had tried killing herself 3 times. That tore my heart apart and made the depression I was silently going through even worse. I kept trying to keep my head up and stay strong for the people around me. The other kids at school had decided to take their torment up a level and by my junior year in high school I was not only being verbally abused but physically as well. They would slam me into lockers and push me down and up the stairs. I didn’t tell anyone because I was afraid of being called a snitch and I didn’t want to make anything worse. I would cry m! yself to sleep every night wondering why they hated me so much what it was that I ever did to be treated like this. It even lead to me losing faith in God. The main thing was that the teachers didn’t pay close enough attention to the students to even notice any of this was going on. When I was younger I was only afraid of the monsters under the bed, but as I got older I was more afraid of kids my age than the monsters under the bed. I am now in my 20s and I suffer from depression and I even started cutting as a way to make the pain go away. I hope that reading this makes people realize that bullying doesn’t just have short term affects the affects that it has on a person mentally and physically can last through a persons lifetime. The things that I experience have stayed with me and I will never forget how it made me feel and as a result I lack any self respect and think so little of myself.

Tags:

2 Responses to “What Others Don’t Know”

  1. Anonymous | February 20, 2014 at 4:42 pm #

    aww

  2. Selwyn | January 24, 2014 at 2:47 am #

    What a beautiful person you are to help your mother when she needed it. What a sweet soul I hear when I read your story. I don’t know why children get satisfaction out of demeaning another person. Their hearts must be hard. Don’t let your heart become hard too. Don’t lose your faith in God. You can always turn to Him. His love can sustain you. It won’t make people suddenly become nice, because people have free will and we live in a fallen world. But, don’t believe what this world tells you about yourself. Don’t believe it! Believe what God says about you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You’re the daughter of the KIng! You have value to God. Try to surround yourself with Godly people, and take heart because you’re a beautiful person.

Leave a Reply