bullying story

IMG_20130813_151239_602Hi, everyone. I’m Midoree, and i am 18 years old. I thought I would share my bullying story with you all. I hope this inspires people, that’s all i want to do.

It all started when i turn 3 years old, i was diagnosed with ADHD. And i was judged, because when i was little it wasn’t common, so i was like crazy misfit in peoples eyes. Our daycare lady told my parents that they couldn’t watch me anymore cause i’m a reject and doesn’t want to handle my problems, because apparently i was way to much to deal with. i got treated like complete shit, just because i was different. No one really ever gave me chance to let me in. It got even harder when i started school. When i entered preschool. I had a lazy eye, so i got bullied for it, i wasn’t a quick learner like other people it took me more time. and got made fun of. i also got bullied because i had huge 80 glasses and i looked like a complete freak. But kindergarten was actually good for me. So i was being bullied for being different. It sucks that people get hated and mistreated for being themselves.

In 1rst grade is when everything started to down spiral in my life. My dad is the air force, and it was the day of 9/11 , he got a call and not even 24 hours later he was gone and i didn’t even get to goodbye to him. I didn’t seem him till almost 3 years later. He missed 3 years of my life. So my dad was never really around when i was a little he was always over seas, and it was super hard on my family but he was making a difference in the world. But i’m so proud of my father and everything hes done. &Before my dad left, we use to be best friends and now all we do is fight and i hate it so much. Probably because we are too much alike, that’s what my mom says anyways. When me and my dad use to fight it got really physical we use to hit each other and say the worse things to each other. I mean they were intense, where sometimes where he would try and call the police and stuff like that, but its gotten better over the years, i love my father so much. We are so much a like, so we kinda fight about everything.

But it was honestly so hard to maintain friends. I mean ya i had some friends but then they were seen with me they got teased for no reason. People said the only reason why people hung out with me is so they wouldn’t hurt my feelings and cause they feel sorry for me. My sister got bullied because of me, cause i was her sister. They would always tell my sister how big of a joke i was and how sorry they felt for her cause i was her sister. I went through my whole childhood trying to fit in but everyone shunned me away and it really hurts. Because you constantly think what is wrong with me, why does everyone hate me, and it never got better it got worse not to be negative. Just being honest and i’m not trying to brag because i know people have it worse than it do. But i could of had a much better childhood. Then again, the bullies made me who I am today. They made me strong and i never gave up. Neither should you.

Well in 3rd grade my teacher was so mean to me, because i was different from anyone else, she wouldn’t let me do anything or do activities. She told my parents that i was a downfall to this society and i should be put away because of all the struggles i was going through, they just made everything worse. No one ever asked me if i was okay, they just thought i should be locked up in a mental house. Kids were bullying me as well, they would laugh at me, leave me out of everything, and say the rudest things to me. This one kid got super mad one day and threw a desk at me and couple of others.

In 4th grade it was even worse, my teacher kept trying to put me on meds i didn’t need, later on that year. I went to foster care for a week my parents couldn’t take it anymore things got out of control. That year i was 10 and i was diagnosed with panic disorder, and odd. So since i got diagnosed with that, i became even more of a bigger target to people.

In 5th grade, the start of the year was great, but when we did basketball like for 5&6th;graders it didn’t go to great. I honestly suck at sports, but i did it to go out and be with my friends, or people who i thought were my friends and i did the best i could. Then one of the parents tells my dad that your daughter is such a distraction, to everyone you need to take better care of your child. My dad responded don’t you dare sit there and mouth off about my child, she is wonderful she just wanted to be able to socialize with her friends, whats so wrong with that. about 2 weeks later, my mom pulled me out of school, to be home schooled. It got so bad, i would go to the nurse everyday to pretend to be sick just so i could go home, or i would cry every single night. It was a great escape, but then it got harder at home cause all me and my dad did was fight, and they were pretty intense fights. I didn’t really escape the bullying either it kept following me. My mommy home schooled me through half of 5th grade to 7th grade.

In 7th grade i started to gain weight a lot, and i got bullied cause i was fat. Someone spread a rumor that tried killing myself on a ceiling fans and i was so fat that it broke and fell on me, which isn’t true. But i did end up loosing over 80 pounds that past year. Which made me feel great. in 7th grade i was also diagnosed with depression, when i was 12 was the first time i have ever cut myself, my mom saw and she took me somewhere. I was admitted to a hospital but they didn’t help me at all, then they sent me to this stupid group home which just made everything worse, it was horrifying. I was gone about 3 months or so, Even though i was still at home doing school i would get horrible voice mails from people, telling me i don’t belong. People would ditch me all the time, i really had nobody. I been fighting this whole battle on my own since i was 3 and its harder than you could ever imagine. But in the long run i’m glad, because this made me how i am today, in the future the person you can only really depend on is yourself and family. Nobody was ever there for me or even bothered to ask if i was okay but you know what i made it through and so can you.

In 8th grade i started online school, which was so much easier on my mom, so she could work more, 8th grade was actually somewhat of a good year for me. But in 8th grade, my daddy went back to Iraq for 8 months, which was hard. But since i was older i understood more of what was going on.

In 9th grade, so many people wanted me to come back to school, so i thought to myself may people have changed, so i was going to give it chance, ya boy was i wrong. My second day at school, there was you ugly piece of shit and other mean things wrote on my locker, mean letters in my locker. People would sit there and put there legs up at table and say we don’t want people like you sitting by us so i sit by myself, crying and some people would stand up for me others would just sit there and laugh at me or throw things at me. I was always working on projects by myself because no one wanted to be my partner, but when teachers would assign partners, this one kid god stuck with me, and he was like oh god i have to work with her and people are like i feel sorry for you. I had two teacher stand up for me, but they didn’t do anything else about it. Once again i was excluded out of everything. Later on during freshman year, my depression kept getting more worse, the more i was bullied. I ended up going to the hospital again, and someone find out and when i got back, i had hate letters again saying YOU ATTENTION WHORE, your a piece of shit, nobody likes you..why didn’t you just kill yourself. and more stuff like that. I did have a couple friends though that stuck by me, but that didn’t really change anything. The teachers watched what those people said to me and didn’t do anything about it, cause they didn’t care. They would make fun of my depression issues and people would come to me and be like guys look at me i’m an attention whore so i’m going to be like Midoree and cut myself cause i’m pathetic and weak. It was sad that even some of the teachers bullied me.

In 10th grade, the whole year was complete shit, in the beginning of sophmore year we had a kid die in a car crash so it was really hard on so many people, i thought people would be nicer but nope. I was constantly the nicest person to everyone, i would go out of my way for people who didn’t give two shits. I did gain a best friend that year, her name is Bailey, she helped me through so much. Later that year in the beginning of January. i finally got my drivers license, so that was a plus. later on that month, i ended up almost successfully killing myself again. My mom found me and they shipped me to a place where they can help me, they did a little help. but the nurses were so mean, i was pretty much helping myself cause they didn’t do anything. They made problems worse most of the time. I was there for about two weeks, i got discharged and went home. I went to school two days later people asked me where were you, and gave me a hug. That weekend, i went somewhere i wasn’t suppose to be cause my mom said no but i went there anyways and i went with the worse person possible. She threatened to kick my ass if i didn’t do what she told me to do, but i shouldn’t of put with her bullshit that was my mistake. We went to a place i wasn’t fimailar with, so i was trying my best way to get out of there. We stopped at sonic, and she got out of the car and called me a psycho bitch, and started being so mean, and don’t me she wasn’t getting in the car with me , so i left cause that’s what my mom told me to do, well i shouldn’t of go behind the wheel in the first place, i was crying and not paying attention all of a sudden i was by a guard rail, and i over corrected my self, my back end of my car didn’t agree with me in flipped about 30 feet in the air and flew almost about 40 ft off the road into trees, i should be dead right now, the only way i survived is cause of the snow and im short. Well on Monday i went to school with a neck brace on people came up to me and started laughing so i heard you flipped your car, idi! ot, jokes kept coming in. Then i got bitched at cause i left the girl at sonic cause she wouldn’t get in my car, what was i suppose to do. i tried the best that i could. People come up to and said why did god have to left you live huh? your a stupid little bitch and you deserved to die in the car accident and you shouldn’t of, people kept throwing even worse daggers at me. Teachers didn’t do anything about it, 3 people made hates pages about me. I showed the teachers them, but they didn’t care or do anything. it was hopeless, i would sit there and think for hours what the fuck i did wrong. People treated me this way just because i was different from everyone else. which is bullshit. Because i never wanted to be like everyone else, i wanted to be myself, but that was never good enough for anyone. I would honestly get home from school lock myself in my room and just cry or sleep the pain away. I tried to make everyone think that i was okay. But i wasn’t and i still don’t know if i am. But i learned to never keep it bottled it up, the longer you keep it to yourself the worse it, you need to talk to someone, and trust me i hate talking about me feelings to, but its worth it. Someday’s i would go to school with scars on my legs or arms and people would ask and i said they were just cat scratches, but no one really asked what was truly wrong. I seriously couldn’t go anywhere with out getting bullied, or escape it was a never ending nightmare.

People would always call me fat, ugly, nasty, worthless, invisible, helpless, stupid, attention whore and more.

& They would always tell me to go kill yourself ugly bitch, nobody likes you, you don’t belong here, go cut yourself again you worthless hoe, everyone would be happy if you died, you’ll never amount to anything, and more.

In junior year, it was okay. The first week of school I called my mom and told her I couldn’t do it anymore; so they dropped me out of school, and I did online school again. I ended up trying to commit suicide again and ended up in another treatment center, which didn’t help at all. Before i went back to online school i auditioned for the school play and I got a really good play. About a week later I get a call saying that I can’t be in the play anymore cause I do online school, which was bull crap cause their was other people who did online school who were in the play. They just wanted to do target something against me. In November that year I discovered a band called one direction, my life changed a little. They stopped me from cutting myself, even though I still do it sometimes, but not as much as I use to. Later on that year I met them, which was the best experience of my life. I ended up getting really sick like physical my junior year as well, I was in and out of the hospital a lot. I was dealing with a lot of tummy infections and kidney stones. My grandpa ended up dying that year, which was really hard on our family but hes in a better place. People keep bullying me, till this day and it kills me more and more everyday. I sit there and think what the hell did I do to deserve this all, I cry myself to sleep every single night, my parents don’t get what I’m going through, they do the best they can. People still keep making horrible hate pages about me, the other day, people made a page saying lets getting Midoree to kill herself and it killed me so much, there was so many mean comments, like I don’t belong here, I’m the reason why the world is so fucked up and this horrible shit. I would sit there for hours and read all these horrible comments and i don’t know why I did that to myself. but they were so mean. I don’t get how people can just be so mean to someone they don’t even know. I don’t get why people made hate pages about me, but it really sucked to see all those comments from people you though! t cared about you but really didn’t. I’m glad they ended up taking it down as well. Someone always had a rumor spread about me or some crap. People would make me out to be the most horrible person ever and yetly I have never done anything to any of them. I just wanted to fit in and when something bad happened I always got blamed for it.

In my senior year, in September, someone though it would be funny to trash my dads flags on 9/11, very dis respective, you really hurt my dad, he didn’t deserve that. He fought for our country hes and freaking hero. In October people thought it would be funny if they trashed my car someone put ton of silly string all over my car and wrote horrible things in permanent marker, like why would you sit there and destroy my property. And this January stuff in my life was starting to get a little better, then life shit on me, and out of all people my grandpa was the one that had to die. And he wasn’t just my grandpa okay, he was pretty my father, I was way closer with him then I ever was with my father, he was my best friend and did everything for me. He touched my life in every way possible. Life shits on you, but you just got to keep moving forward. Then in march I went on this cruise. I would have to say it was the best experience in my life. It was the first time in my life, were people expected me fore who I was, they didn’t care if i was different, they loved me anyways. I’m so glad I met all of them, they really touched my heart. I might never see them again, but I will always care and love them. They put a huge impact in my life. That moment I kind realized, there are people in this world who are gonna be assholes, everywhere you go there is always gonna be someone who doesn’t like you or someone you don’t like. People should never do anything of the stuff they did to me to anyone else and I’m dead serious when I say this, I will do whatever I can to stop it and make it sure it don’t ever happen to anyone else. Also in march I almost lost my mom in a horrible car accident she was driving in front of me and she airborned and flipped her car 1 and 1/2 times and I’m so happy shes alive but it made me realize how short life really is. Life is to short learn to love and let go. Don’t let people stand in your way. Show them what your capable of and don’t ever change who are you, cause you’re beautiful.

I would also love to say I do have a GREAT SUPPORT team, I know I said I fought most of it by myself but I did have people there for me like my family and friends. They’re really the most amazing people ever, they have gotten me where i am today, and i wouldn’t be here without them. I do have amazing idols that i look up to as well, But in the long run i taught myself how to be strong, they didn’t they just made me realize it. But its sad that i still get hated on maybe one day they’ll grow up.

But, seriously if any of you have a similar story then me, or whatever just remember that you’re still alive and you should be proud of yourself. And to those who are getting bullied now, and this goes to everyone around the world, you HAVE to stand up for yourself, don’t let them win or walk all over you, yes i know words hurt but you can be the bigger person. They don’t know who you really are, smile at them to let them know your okay. And to all the assholes out there, you never know what people are going through, so grow up and don’t be a douche bag.

If your feeling suicidal or if your cutting, come talk to me. i’m here for you, because you’re more stronger than you think. Every bad thing you go through in your life just makes your stronger, those bullies make you a stronger person, so the joke is on them. People are selfish, and you cant change them, you cant change your past, but you are in control of yourself and future so make it count. I don’t think suicide is complete cowardly but it isn’t worth it, you might think at the time is trust me, i’m still suicidal and but i fight through it and i know you can. You are here on this earth for a reason, god would never put you through anything he didn’t think you could handle. I see beauty in everyone and everything and i know for a fact all of you are extremely amazing and beautiful no matter what anyone tells you. I have faith in you, i’m here for you, i got you and i will never leave your side. So please put down that gun or rope or whatever you may have and think is it worth it? Because more people love and care about you than you think and it to me a while to figure you out, but everything isn’t as bad as it seems. You are worth so much, you deserve to live, and i want you here. You can’t let them bullies win, your so much better than them and stronger than this. I love you, and if you need someone i’m always here.

I finally graduated high school and i graduated with honors, so I proved all the ones that said i wasn’t good enough or i wasn’t smart enough wrong. Because i will do good in life and be successful. Stay beautiful.
If you want to talk to me I’ll always be here my twitter is @pumpkinarry

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One Response to “bullying story”

  1. john bogert | May 2, 2014 at 7:40 pm #

    , My name is John I can relate to a lot of the stories.But it was different for me as I’m now 60 years old.
    Back in the 1960’s and 1970’s no one would help,even when I asked for help.I had a mother who told me not to fight back.My father worked 2 jobs and hardly ever talked.They were older than the other kids parents ,too.
    The physical bullying was real bad.I feel dangerous now if someone would try something now as I’m a veteran of both the U.S Navy and the Army National Guard.
    I refuse to go to Class reunions from high school as I don’t want to see any of the jerks.
    Bullying has lifetime consequences.
    I’m glad that people are now choosing to fight back in assertive was.Hopefully more parents are more responsive.
    Bullying is never OK.Not for Children in school.Not for employees at work.Nowhere in this universe.
    Somtimes though self defense has to be an option if a person feels like they are in danger.

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