Losing Control

Name: Sarah
Age:14(almost 15)
Victim of verbal bullying.

Fat. Ugly. Useless. Nobody. Worthless. Names that have been haunting my life for the past year and a half. “You will always be alone.” “Nobody will ever want you.” Things ive heard for the past year and a half. What people don’t know, is that everytime they said these things to me i felt as if i was being stabbed. I felt unwanted. Useless. Fat. Ugly. A nobody.

I’m Sarah, and this is my story.

8th grade.(aka, worst year of my life) picture this. Its your first week back and your  excited to be back with all your friends. Or who you thought were your friends. After the first few weeks things seemed different with the 2 girls i used to hang out with. I kept just going along with it, not really caring. By the middle to end of the year was when things got worse. People telling me that they talk about me all the time. When im going they are so happy not to have to sit with me. That they only pretend to be my friend to be “nice”.
Then they started saying things to my face. About how i was fat and ugly and would never have a boyfriend. About how i was a bitch and needed to die.

That night i ran home crying. That was the night things changed. I did it. For the first time, i cut. They only way out of the pain i was feeling.

Things got worse. I felt so bad about the way i looked id starve myself for weeks at a time. Then when people stared noticing, id eat, then go puke it up.

Then i started noticing it  No one liked me. Everyone talked about me. I would cry myself to sleep night after night, id cut, id puke. Anything just to get the pain to go away.

I’m trying to finally stop….

I’m Sarah, and this is my story.

Tags:

2 Responses to “Losing Control”

  1. Morgan | November 28, 2012 at 12:41 am #

    You are a beautiful girl!! I have been in your shoes and I just want to tell you that you are here for a reason and things WILL get better. I wish you luck on your journey to recovery! Stay Strong! <3

  2. Valjean | November 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm #

    That’s a mold-breaker. Great tihnikng!

Leave a Reply