When I Was the Bully

Hi, my story is probably different from others you receive in that I was the bully.

Been coming online since my sister got a computer in her room in 2002. Over the years I made a lot of friends on the official fan forum of a pop band, which shall remain nameless for reasons that will become clear later in this story.

Over the years I became closer to some of those friends I had made on that forum, as well as others I would meet through various means, including MySpace and Bebo. However, I have always had this jealous, insecure side to me. If I saw particular friends, who I was closest to, talking to other friends, and they hadn’t spoken to me that day, I’d get insanely jealous.

It got to the point where one friend, in particular, had no interest in talking to me anymore. However, I still had my other friends, and they got me through that. But those insecure/jealous feelings were always still there.

Then in August 2010 one friend deleted me off Facebook. A few weeks later I found out, through a mutual friend, that she did this because she thought I was boring.

As you can imagine I got upset at that. Later, while drunk, I thought about more and got more and more upset. Then I just seemed to flip and sent the girl that had deleted me an abusive message. The abuse was of a sexual content. She didn’t reply but I sent another message, then another message and she replied to say: “F*** off” and blocked me.

At this point I went on my original Facebook profile, that I had stopped using, and started sending more messages to her til she blocked that profile too.

That is where it stopped with her. However, a few weeks later I noticed another of our mutual friends had also deleted me. I asked why she had done this and she told me the 1st friend had told her about the messages I sent her. Something went off my head at this point and I started sending her these indecent/obscene messages.

She blocked me but then over the next few weeks I noticed more and more of our mutual female friends were deleting me. I’m assuming she must have told them all what I had said to her and the 1st girl so each time one of them deleted me I would send them indecent/obscene messages, believing “if that’s what they think of me, I may as well play up to it!”.

Over the next few weeks/months it would go round in cycles. I’d get drunk and/or upset over something, set-up a fake Facebook account and send these girls indecent/obscene messages…then a few days later, after I had realized what I’d done was wrong, I’d set-up another account and apologize for sending those messages. Then a few weeks later, while drunk and/or upset again, I’d do it all over again.

It wasn’t just on Facebook though, also Twitter but was mainly Facebook. Then in March 2011, a member of the aforementioned pop group found out about it. She deleted and blocked me on Twitter and when I found out about that I then started to set-up fake Twitter accounts to send her abusive messages as well.

In July her management sent me an email warning me they’d be forced to take further action if my messages did not end. Then in August she did an interview with a newspaper about it. Did not name, but I obviously knew it was about me.

For the next few nights I hit the drink badly and must have set-up about 6 or 7 fake Twitter accounts to continue the abuse.

During this time, one friend in particular stood by me and, between her and her mum, they got me to go to my doctor. He put me on anti-depressants and referred me to the local mental health clinic.

Things did die down from there. However, at the end of September I had gone to a concert. When I came home I found that my friend had been talking to this new friend she had met on Twitter, and because she had hardly talked to me that night, again, my jealous/insecure side came out. Felt that she must also think of me as “boring” as she rarely talked to me as much as she had to this new friend.

I know now that this is obviously a stupid way to think but that night I wasn’t thinking clearly. I proceeded to tweet about how I must bore people and stuff like that. The next morning her best friend, who I also knew, tweeted to me saying I should lay off her and give her space. A few minutes later I noticed my friend had deleted and blocked me on both Twitter and Facebook.

At this point I flipped. I took an indecent photo of myself and sent it to her friend with an indecent message. It was then that I realized that while I was showing signs of improvement I wasn’t going to fully improve on my own.

That night I went to the police to confess what I had been doing. Gave them the names of everyone who received any abusive messages off me, there was 16 in all. They managed to get in touch with 6 of them over the next few months and in February just past, they brought me in for an interview.

The interview was so difficult as I had to sit there and listen to the different statements and hear some of the disgusting things I had sent these young women. Want to say at this point that every one of my victims were over the legal age of consent. A couple were 19 but most were in their 20’s.

The member of the pop group was one of those that came forward to give a statement.

The police have sent my file to the Public Prosecution Service. I now have to wait for them to get back to me about what charges I’m facing, but it looks like I’m possibly looking at 5 counts of harassment and 5 of using public telecommunications to send indecent messages.

Most I can get is 6 months in prison and/or a fine. This is why I’m starting to campaign for new, tougher laws to be brought out specifically for cyber-stalking or stalking in general, as the “Protection From Harassment Act 1997″ does not go far enough. I do believe I deserve more than 6 months for what I did.

That being said I will be relieved if I escape a prison term but there will be no smiles or celebration if that does happen. And if that does happen I will start doing more to help other victims of cyber-bullying/stalking. I know I’ll never be able to make it up to the girls involved in my case but if I can help others I will at least be able to feel better about myself!

I know I am not a bad person; I just had a difficult year or so.


One Response to “When I Was the Bully”

  1. Mr. Waldeno | November 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

    This story is actually really helpful, I’m using this for a public service announcement about Bullying/Cyber bullying..


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